How to Support Someone You Suspect may Have an Eating Disorder

By: Marissa Pollet

Watching someone you care about struggle with food, body image, or unhealthy habits can feel extremely heartbreaking and confusing. You may want to help, but fear saying the wrong thing or pushing them away even further. Eating disorders are complex mental health conditions, not simply “bad habits” or choices. The most important thing you can offer, if you suspect someone you care about is struggling, is compassionate support without judgment.

Signs Someone May Be Struggling

Not everyone with an eating disorder will show obvious signs, but some common behaviors may include:

• Dramatic weight loss or frequent weight fluctuations

• Obsessive focus on calories, food, dieting, or exercise

• Skipping meals or creating strict food rules

• Avoiding social situations involving food

• Seeming secretive about food intake

• Frequent trips to the bathroom after eating

• Wearing oversized clothing to hide their body

• Talking negatively about their appearance constantly

• Excessive exercise even when tired or injured

• Mood changes, irritability, anxiety, or withdrawal from others

It’s important to remember that eating disorders can affect people of all body sizes, genders, and ages. Someone does not have to “look sick” to be struggling, which can make it harder to understand the nature of this disorder.

How to Approach the Conversation

If you suspect someone may need help, your approach absolutely matters. People struggling with eating disorders often feel shame, fear, or loss of control. Gentle support is usually more effective than confrontation.

Helpful ways to start:

• Choose a private, calm moment to talk

• Speak from concern, not criticism

• Use “I” statements such as:

o “I’ve noticed you seem stressed around food lately.”

o “I care about you and wanted to check in.”

• Focus on emotions and behaviors, not appearance or weight

• Listen more than you speak

What to Avoid

Even well-meaning comments can accidentally increase shame or defensiveness.

Try to avoid:

• Commenting on their body or weight

• Forcing them to eat

• Giving simple solutions like “just eat more”

• Arguing about whether they have a problem

• Becoming the “food police”

• Making the conversation about blame

• Thinking you can “solve” the issue for them

Recovery is rarely helped through pressure or control. Feeling safe and supported is often what encourages someone to open up, acknowledge their issues, and seek further professional support.

Encouraging Professional Help

Eating disorders are serious mental health conditions that often require professional treatment. Support from friends and family is valuable, but it cannot replace medical or therapeutic care.

You can gently encourage help by:

• Offering to help them find a therapist or doctor

• Suggesting they talk to someone they trust

• Reminding them they do not have to handle this alone

• Offering to sit with them while they make an appointment

Treatment may include therapy, nutritional counseling, medical care, or support groups depending on the person’s needs.

Lending Support Can Help Make a Difference

You do not need perfect words to make a difference to help someone you love who may be struggling with an eating disorder. Consistent compassion, patience, and nonjudgmental support can help someone feel less alone during a very difficult struggle. Sometimes simply showing up, listening, and reminding someone they are worthy of help is the first step toward healing.

Our team of caring professionals at Inspired Wellness are here to provide support and guidance towards your path of mental wellness. We believe that every individual has the ability to be the best version of themselves and our goal is to set you up with the tools to maintain a well- balanced life that will place you on the path towards lifelong change. We strive to create a non-judgmental environment coupled with therapeutic practices that are tailored towards each individual. At Inspired Wellness our team aims to do exactly as our name says, inspire youtowards a beautiful life of strength and wellness!