Why Accepting Compliments Can Feel So Hard: Learning to connect with your best self

By: Marissa Pollet

Accepting What We Hear

For many people, receiving compliments is surprisingly uncomfortable. It’s the initial moment that our mind tells us it can’t be true, and we shouldn’t accept what someone is trying to tell us. Instead of feeling appreciated and validated internally, the instinct is often to deflect, minimize, or explain it away. This reaction usually isn’t about modesty, it’s often connected to how we see ourselves and self-esteem.

Why Compliments Feel Uncomfortable

Accepting kind words can be hard for several reasons:

• Low self-worth: If you don’t truly believe you’re deserving, compliments can feel untrue or exaggerated. The compliments are challenging the script you have created. When kind words are given, the initial reaction can be to immediately dismiss it, reinforcing your internal beliefs

• Negative self-talk: An inner critic may quickly override the positive with doubt. When you constantly believe your self-worth is lower than what others perceive, positivity is hard to override negativity.

• Fear of attention: Being seen can feel vulnerable, especially if you’re used to staying in the background. You are now in the forefront with all eyes on you which can feel uncomfortable.

• Past experiences: Criticism, comparison, or conditional praise earlier in life can shape how safe praise feels now. If you are not accustomed to hearing praise throughout your life, receiving it and accepting it can feel very awkward.

When compliments clash with your self-image, it’s easier to reject them than to sit with the discomfort. This notion challenges your thoughts, making you explore why you feel that way you do about yourself which requires self-reflection and internal growth.

Is This About Self-Worth?

Often, yes. Struggling to accept compliments can reflect difficulty valuing yourself.

• If you don’t see your strengths, it’s hard to believe others do.

• Dismissing compliments can reinforce the belief that you’re “not enough.”

• Over time, this can limit confidence and personal growth.

Accepting a compliment doesn’t mean arrogance, rather it means acknowledging your humanity and your strengths and creating growth that applies towards forming the best version of yourself over time.

How to Become More Open to Compliments

Learning to accept compliments is a skill, and it can be practiced.

• Pause before reacting: Notice the urge to deflect and choose a different response.

• Say “thank you” only: No explanations, jokes, or downplaying.

• Let it land: Remind yourself that this is someone else’s honest perception.

• Write compliments down: Revisit them when self-doubt shows up.

• Practice self-affirmation: Begin recognizing your own strengths, even in small ways.

Applying Compliments to Your Growth

Compliments can be tools for becoming your best self:

• Use them as evidence against negative self-beliefs. Revisit them often and pay close attention to how they made you feel internally, which reshapes negative inner dialogue.

• Notice patterns in what others appreciate about you. What are your strengths and where do you personally shine? No two people are identical; your gifts are uniquely yours.

• Let them guide you toward strengths you can nurture and expand. Hidden talents and strengths are sometimes more easily noticed by others than you can see yourself. What can you apply to your life to create growth and success?

A Gentle Reminder

You don’t have to fully believe a compliment to accept it. Simply allowing kind words in is a powerful step toward self-worth. Over time, hearing the good and letting it stay can help reshape how you see yourself. The acceptance of these powerful words are small buildingblocks towards your best self. Take in the compliments, believe in yourself, and watch how your mindset set can change.

Our team of caring professionals at Inspired Wellness are here to provide support and guidance towards your path of mental wellness. We believe that every individual has the ability to be the best version of themselves and our goal is to set you up with the tools to maintain a well-balanced life that will place you on the path towards lifelong change. We strive to create a non-judgmental environment coupled with therapeutic practices that are tailored towards each individual. At Inspired Wellness our team aims to do exactly as our name says, inspire you towards a beautiful life of strength and wellness!